![]() And still, it feels like he had more elevation in store for us. He’s one of the few mainstream artists who vied to expand his craft instead of needling us with the same repackaged projects. It’s not necessarily something you anticipated from him while listening to his 2010 mixtape KIDS. Lines like, “Lot of lies cover the truth, you got options, what do you do?” from “Perfect Circle” are the kind of queries that have you questioning the sanctity of your decisions. Most rap fans have championed Mac’s shift from a blog-era rapper with a little too much frat-boy kitsch into a thoughtful artist who made vulnerable, despondent projects like Swimming and Circles. But both men’s lifetimes make me think about possibility, fulfillment, and the illusory. More notably, I can’t pretend I was a good brother, as I was too self-centered to be there the way I’ve heard big brothers conventionally are. I can’t pretend I was a diehard Mac Miller fan, though I enjoyed what I heard in later years. Unbeknownst to me, I’d find my right set of words five years later at 4 a.m. But I didn’t know what else to articulate and didn’t care to cull through the permutations of loss attached to a news peg (not that I was asked). But I was just inundated with more death.Īt the time I pondered writing about whatever symmetry I could think of to get my mind off things. In 2018, I worked for another outlet, and I learned about Mac passing while checking Slack in an attempt to briefly take my mind off the motorcycle accident that took my brother. ![]() ![]() Five years ago Wednesday, I lost my brother Christian at 21. Five years ago today, the world lost Mac Miller at 26.
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